And You Wanna Know Why?
Back in the 90s, I got killed by one of the mobs named either Mickey or Mallory Knox. Their mob files have vanished, but their personalities are still in the code.
The Knoxes came from Oliver Stone's 1994 movie Natural Born Killers, Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis as two lovers on a killing spree that television turns into celebrities. I think I might have had it on VHS. A tag players wore in their titles came from the same movie. Type help nbk in Dark Pawns and this is the whole entry (read it here):
NBK
Natural Born KillerPlayers put [NBK] in their titles to say they were open to player killing, or just to feel like bad asses. One who list, quoted in a dp-players.com thread from April 2004, has five of them across its two pages:
[ 30 Wa ] Altie a Warrior [NBK] (invis) (quest) (OUTLAW)
[ 26 Wa ] Sparahawk the village pot farmer. [NBK] (quest)
[ 30 Cl ] Alisande the Mass Mudder [NBK] [!PAW] (invis)
[ 22 Mu ] Nicolae the village tobacco farmer. [NBK]
[ 30 Th ] Aidan the Mass Murderer [NBK] [!PAW] (invis) (OUTLAW)
(Aidan is me.)
So I gave them new bodies on the original server and let them do what the code says they do.
Mickey's speech
Each of them is a spec proc, a bit of C attached to a mob (a monster, in MUD terms). Mickey's is a speech in three beats, four seconds apart, aimed at the first player he sees. ($N is your name.)
$N, I'm gonna kill you.
And you wanna know why?
Shit $N, I'm a natural born killer.
And then he goes serial killer on you.
In a room flagged peaceful, where nobody can start a fight, the punchline changes to "I'll tell you later, $N" and he "walks out the door and vanishes." He turns up at his hideout, an Edge Of A Canyon the code calls "some room in SE desert," with a death trap one step south.
He remembers who he's threatening by writing your player ID into his own alignment, the number that says how good or evil a character is. If someone else walks in, the speech starts over for them.
Once the fight starts he has a one in two chance each round of saying something:
I'll always love you Mal, no matter what!
Do you believe in fate?
You're not centered.
When they come and ask you who did this, tell them it was Mickey and Mallory Knox!
It's not nice to point.
Mallory has no speech. She only talks once you're fighting her, and then almost every round. Half the time she shouts "You stupid biiitch!" Otherwise it's "How do you like me now?", "That was the worst head I've ever got.", "How sexy am i now, fucker?" (then "How sexy am i NOW?") or a giggle. Then she sets Mickey hunting you, wherever he is. The comment on that line: "if mickey's busy, catch him later :)".
What the code kept
Spec procs get handed to mobs in src/spec_assign.c, and that file declares both of theirs without ever handing them to anyone. The code names 7969 as Mickey's number and never gives Mallory one. Today mob 7969 is "a black-cloaked wanderer" running the generic spellcaster proc.
7969 sits in zone 79, which its zone file calls "BFM/Random Load/Redferne's". On every reset the game drops each of that zone's mobs into a random room somewhere in the world, so Mickey was written to turn up anywhere. His neighbors in the file are the Unicorn ("There is rumored to be only a single one in the entire world") and Eric Draven, The Crow, "dressed like a mime from hell."
Neither proc takes anything off your corpse. Dark Pawns did have a flag for that, written by Serapis in October 1996: a mob carrying it strips your corpse, puts on your gear and brags about it on gossip ("$N was tough, but had good eq..."). Their flags went with their mob files, so maybe Mickey and Mallory had it. Or maybe I'm misremembering, because it's been 30 years.
Running them again
I built the original server from the repository's src/ and gave it two stand-in mobs, Mickey Knox and Mallory Knox, with two added lines attaching their procs. The bodies are mine: their levels, hit points and damage, and the looting flag from the last section, which is a guess. Everything they say, every hit and miss, and everything after the kill comes from the original game.
My test character is Wayne, a level 20 warrior in steel plate, named after Wayne Gale, the TV host Robert Downey Jr. plays in the movie. An immortal carried everyone into place before each scene and I cut that part. The rest is exactly what the server sent, with Wayne's commands after the prompt where a client would show them.
Mickey finds Wayne
Mickey waited two rooms west of Wayne on the canyon edge. Wayne's wimpy setting made him flee once he got low on hit points.
262H 100M 126V > west Edge Of A Canyon You stand on the very edge of a canyon. The horizon on the other side is dotted with trees and other signs of flourishing life, but the deadly drop to the south makes it far out of your reach. [ Exits: north east south west ] Mickey Knox is here. 262H 100M 118V > Mickey Knox says, 'Wayne, I'm gonna kill you.' 262H 100M 118V > Mickey Knox asks, 'And you wanna know why?' 262H 100M 118V > Mickey Knox says, 'Shit Wayne, I'm a natural born killer.'. Mickey Knox hits you hard. You slash Mickey Knox. You miss Mickey Knox by an inch! Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mickey Knox shouts, 'I'll always love you Mal, no matter what!' 221H 100M 118V > You slash Mickey Knox hard. You slash Mickey Knox. Mickey Knox hits you hard. You duck under Mickey Knox's fist as he takes a swing at you. Mickey Knox asks, 'Do you believe in fate?' 213H 100M 118V > You slash Mickey Knox. You slash Mickey Knox. Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. 192H 100M 118V > You slash Mickey Knox hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox shouts, 'When they come and ask you who did this, tell them it was Mickey and Mallory Knox!' 94H 100M 134V > You barely slash Mickey Knox. Your desperate slash at Mickey Knox is easily avoided by him. Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox states, 'It's not nice to point.' 74H 100M 134V > You miss Mickey Knox by an inch! You slash Mickey Knox hard. Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! 26H 100M 134V > You barely slash Mickey Knox. You slash Mickey Knox hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! Mickey Knox hits you very hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! You wimp out, and attempt to flee! Edge Of A Desert The desert ends here at a canyon to the south that drops thousands of feet down into a dried river bed far below. [ Exits: north east south west ] You flee head over heels. 2H 100M 126V > Mickey Knox arrives from the south. Mickey Knox starts following you. You barely avoid Mickey Knox's fist as he takes a swing at you! You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! You wimp out, and attempt to flee! Edge Of A Desert The desert ends here at a canyon to the south that drops thousands of feet down into a dried river bed far below. [ Exits: north east south west ] You flee head over heels. Mickey Knox arrives from the west. Mickey Knox tries to hit you but you easily avoid the blow. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! You wimp out, and attempt to flee! Edge Of A Desert The desert ends here at a canyon to the south that drops thousands of feet down into a dried river bed far below. [ Exits: north east south west ] You flee head over heels. 2H 100M 110V > Mickey Knox arrives from the east. You recieve a punch in your kidneys which ends your worldly misery -- R.I.P.! You are dead! Sorry... Mickey Knox gossips, 'Hey Wayne, was that suicide or did you try to fight back?' -14H 100M 110V >
The peaceful room
The same speech in The Dragon's Claw, a weapon shop flagged peaceful:
262H 100M 134V > north The Dragon's Claw You stand in an arsenal. Blades, bows, staves, and other deadly items line the walls and rest on the floor as a large yellow-skinned man stares cautiously at you from behind the counter against the northern wall. [ Exits: north south ] Mickey Knox is here. The weaponer stands here, chiseling a whetstone from granite. 262H 100M 132V > Mickey Knox says, 'Wayne, I'm gonna kill you.' 262H 100M 132V > Mickey Knox asks, 'And you wanna know why?' 262H 100M 132V > Mickey Knox says, 'I'll tell you later, Wayne'. Mickey Knox walks out the door and vanishes. 262H 100M 132V >
Mallory
Mallory alone at Mickey's hideout, Mickey three rooms west. Wayne swings first:
262H 100M 134V > kill mallory You slash Mallory Knox hard. 262H 100M 134V > Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox shouts, 'You stupid biiitch!' You barely slash Mallory Knox. You slash Mallory Knox. 233H 100M 134V > Mickey Knox tells you, 'Run to your momma, pansy!' Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox says, 'That was the worst head I've ever got.' You barely slash Mallory Knox. You slash Mallory Knox hard. 217H 100M 134V > Mallory Knox misses a wild punch at you. Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox asks, 'How do you like me now?' You slash Mallory Knox. You slash Mallory Knox hard. 208H 100M 134V > Mickey Knox arrives from the west. Mickey Knox starts following you. Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox asks, 'Do you believe in fate?' Mallory Knox tries to hit you but you easily avoid the blow. Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox asks, 'How do you like me now?' You scratch Mallory Knox as you slash her. 167H 100M 134V > Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mickey Knox hits you extremely hard. Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox barely hits you. Mallory Knox shouts, 'You stupid biiitch!' You slash Mallory Knox hard. You slash Mallory Knox hard. 130H 100M 134V > Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox hits you very hard. Mickey Knox states, 'It's not nice to point.' Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox asks, 'How sexy am i now, fucker?' Mallory Knox asks, 'How sexy am i NOW?' You slash Mallory Knox. You slash Mallory Knox hard. 90H 100M 134V > Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mickey Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox hits you hard. Mallory Knox hits you hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! Mallory Knox says, 'That was the worst head I've ever got.' You slash Mallory Knox hard. 58H 100M 134V > Mickey Knox hits you very hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! Mickey Knox hits you very hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! Mickey Knox says, 'You're not centered.' Mallory Knox hits you hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! Mallory Knox hits you hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! Mallory Knox giggles madly. You slash Mallory Knox hard. You slash Mallory Knox. 17H 100M 134V > Mickey Knox hits you very hard. You wish that your wounds would stop BLEEDING so much! Mickey Knox hits you very hard. You are mortally wounded, and will die soon, if not aided. Mallory Knox hits you with such force that your neck snaps in two! You are dead! Sorry... Mallory Knox gossips, 'Hey Wayne, was that suicide or did you try to fight back?' -21H 100M 134V >
That tell comes from the game's hunting code, which gives any mob tracking you a small chance of a taunt with every step, from "Run to your momma, pansy!" to putting your corpse up for auction before you're dead.
Did you meet them?
If you played Dark Pawns and ran into Mickey or Mallory, tell me about it: a story about what they did to you, a log of an actual encounter, an old backup with their mob files in it, anything. Send it here.